10 Essential Social Skills
Self-Identity and Self-Knowledge is also important when building resilience in the young person with autism. To find out why these are important factors in developing resilience please click the following links to find out more information from Brenda Myles.
The acquisition of appropriate social skills is considered critical for a young person’s social development and personal well-being, as well as academic progress, social inclusion and successful transition to adult life and work, (Frostad & Pijl, 2007).
Usually, social skills are assimilated and accommodated, we pick them up as we go along, without needing formal education. With an implicit learning style, we watch the interactions of others, we learn from their behaviour, we modify it to our various situation, we find our equilibration.
Points to remember
Austistic children and young people may need an explicit teaching style to meet their explicit learning style.
Adapted from “10 Essential Social Skills”, Doug Sandler.
- Maintain Eye Contact
- Importance of Body Language
- Know the Difference Between Being Assertive and Being Aggressive
- Select Effective Communication Channels
- Flexibility and Cooperation are Essential Social Skills
- Accept Criticism Without Being Defensive
- Remain Positive at all Times or at Least Strive to be Positive
- Be Teachable and be a Good Student
- Show Respect for Others
- Be Human - it is What Makes You Unique
1. Maintain Eye Contact
An area of difficulty for some autistic children and young people, however, such skills may be taught or maybe it might be better to teach the illusion of eye contact – look at someone’s hairline, focus on their glasses…
2. Importance of Body Language
Non-verbal clues can provide plenty of information and make you appear to be not interested in what someone is communicating. Again, an area where an autistic child or young person may need to be taught specific strategies, to ensure he or she conveys the intended message.
3. Know the Difference Between Being Assertive and Being Aggressive
Being assertive, displaying your passion for a particular interest or topic is beneficial but knowing the boundary between assertive and aggressive may need to be taught.
4. Select Effective Communication Channels
It can be difficult to select the appropriate mode of communication. Face to face may be difficult to autistic children and young adults, but then email, although it accepts everything we type, may not adequately convey the requisite empathy and emotion.
5. Flexibility and Cooperation are Essential Social Skills
Although you may have a very strongly held belief or opinion, being open to the opinion and beliefs of others may mean a stronger working relationship and mutually respectful personal relationship. We do not always have to believe the same to work together but conveying that message can be difficult, again a skill worth teaching and learning.
6. Accept Criticism Without Being Defensive
Depending on how you are being critiqued, it can be positive. Having someone else’s opinion may actually improve your work and make the subject matter clearer.
7. Remain Positive at all Times or at Least Strive to be Positive
8. Be Teachable and be a Good Student
We can learn from variety of people and opportunities. Remember, Patsy Daly, “There’s something about the human condition that people with autism teach us.” Speaker Panel Video Day One.
9. Show Respect for Others
No matter your position in education or in life, showing respect is the ultimate sign of regard.
10. Be Human - it is What Makes You Unique
Focus on your strengths and talents, these are who you are and as Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself, everyone else is taken.” Be the best you possible. Disclosure of diagnosis allows the child or young person to know who he or she is, it can be empowering and calming and allows the right supports to be in place at the right time. Click here to listen to more on disclosure of diagnosis. Click here to listen to Final Speaker Video. Link to Adam Harris video in Building Capacity resource.